On my computer if I mouse over the lower right corner of my screen a few widgets pop up. One of them is linked to Weather.com’s five-day weather forecasts including daily highs and lows. Sometimes I accidentally mouse over the corner of the screen and make these widgets pop up. When that happens, headlines tend to catch my eye, since I also have ESPN.com sports headlines on there.
The best thing I read today was an NBA headline, and I love it because it epitomizes what the whole NBA is. I got sucked in when the best basketball player ever to come from my hometown was drafted in 2003, but I haven’t paid it any attention since he very publicly announced, the day my youngest daughter was born—so that I watched it on the television in the hospital while holding her in my lap and sitting next to my wife’s convalescence bed—that he would take his talents to South Beach. Thus the Cleveland Cavaliers were sent back to the bottom of the NBA, and a euphemism for anything from going to the bathroom, to the various things people do there, was invented at the same time.
Thus ended my interest in the glorified playground shenanigans of the strutting hooligans. Imagine an entire professional sports league populated by nothing but wide receivers. And you have the NBA.
(Metta World Peace and James Harden are two NBA players.)
Today’s headline ran:
“World Peace tossed for elbow to Harden’s head.”
Tomorrow’s headline? Wait for it:
World Peace Suspended Indefinitely for Violent Outburst
Thanks, dear reader, should you ever find me, for being the gadfly of my discipline.