Just got this from the wife:
WIFE: You do have to wear your shoes outside because they will protect your feet from the elements.
LAD: The elements are: Fire, water, earth, lightning, and ice.
LASS: (2-year-old, to Mother) Are you trying to be a good Mama?
WIFE: Yes I am.
LASS: You spanked Bruh-yer’s butt!
WIFE: Yes, if I hadn’t I wouldn’t have been a good Mother. Are you going to be a good Mama when you grow up?
WIFE: …a good nun?
WIFE: What are you going to be then?